Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey: the first Satanist vampire presidential candidate

impaler for president

LISTEN UP, AMERICANS! Soon, you will shoulder the responsibility of voting for the next president of the United States. Will it be the Mormon guy, the actor guy, the hair guy, the girl guy, the Satanist vampire guy … what?

Oh, yes.

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey is the first Satanist vampire presidential candidate in American history, and if you think you’re fascinated, meet W. Tray White, who grabbed a camera, scraped up a crew and made “Impaler,” a strange, funny and moving documentary about the Democrat from Minnesota with a taste for blood.

Full Story: Express.

More info: Wikipedia.

(Thanks TiamatsVision!).


  1. Yeah, my bad. He’s actually running for Governor of Minnesota. Hey, if a wrestler(Jesse Ventura) can run for Governor, why not a Satanic Vampire? Who knows, maybe POTUS is next. Just as long as he’s not caught toe-tappin’ with wings flappin’ and teeth gnashin’ in the airport’s john…

  2. As far as I can tell, he ran for governor of Minnesota in 2006 and he’s running for president in 2008.

  3. That Is amazing you go satanist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I would vote for you 100 percent of the time…


    NEVER IN MY LIFE VOTE FOR A CREATURE FOR SATANS HELPER………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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