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Fox News journalistic masterpieces

Fox News. It’s hard to talk about greatest hits without mentioning their war coverage or their coverage of racial issues. As a political and cultural propaganda machine, there’s little outright funny about Fox News’s persistent distortion of reality. Or, if there is, the jokes on the people of the United States and the world.

But occasionally they have a real zinger. Some “hard hitting” piece of “journalism” where the joke really is on them. Here are Fox’s five journalistic masterpieces, after the fold.

5. The Nintendo DS, a target for child molesters:

OK, that’s not THAT bad. Sure it was based on unfounded hysteria, but a new technology should warrant some skepticism. It was over the top and laughable, but let’s move on…

4. Play Station Pornable:

Oh good, you can’t get hardcore pornography without a credit card…. right? This is basically Internet paranoia all over again. The Tubes are back… and this time, they’re PORTABLE!

3. Lesbian gang outbreak

So now we’re into sheer lunacy. Who the hell is this “expert” O’Reilly was talking to? SPL has some coverage of this segment.

2. Anonymous – hackers on steroids:

WTF SRSL. Wired said “This ‘news report’ is by far the funniest prank anyone on the board has ever pulled off.” Encylopedia Dramatica entry on Anonymous.

1. Jenkem: the human waste drug:

Uhhhh…. what can I say? Find out more about jenkem.

5 real products of the 90s cyberpunk & transhumanist hype

Life Extension – As covered previously here on Technoccult, aspirin is the best life extension drug on the market. And it’s cheap. See: Top Ten Life Extension Drugs.

Intelligence amplification – Mind machines and smart drugs never did live up to the hype, which is probably why you don’t hear much about them anymore. I actually conducted some trials with volunteers using a brain entrainment machine for my cognitive science class in college. The results: the machine didn’t do jack. I was only ever able to experiment with self-medication with smart drugs, but my general conclusion is that some of them work as stimulants (piracetum, vassopressin) but they’re not worth the money.

The good news is, there are some new high tech intelligence amplification tools on the market: “brain fitness” games like Brain Age and Lumosity. I’m not sure how much good it will do, though. See Seed Magazine’s coverage.

Virtual Reality – We’re still waiting on decent immersive VR, but the Nintendo Wii has brought some elements of VR to homes.

Brain Backups – There’s no wetware brain backup, but if you want to preserve your knowledge for all of eternity, you can try posting the contents of your brain on the web. Google and the Internet Archive (backed by Amazon) are both attempting to archive and back-up the entire web.

Space Migration – Like brain backups, this remains vaporware. But space tourism and private space programs are taking off, including one by Amazon’s founder, Jeff Bezos.

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