1. I may not need an iPod, but I sure as hell want one.

  2. I don’t want an iPod. I want a microchip that I can implant behind my ear, allowing me to instantly recall any song I’ve ever heard with perfect clarity.

    Though then someone might sue me for illegally bypassing DRM with my terrible memory. No, that wouldn’t do. They’d need to install a monitoring chip in my brain to keep track of all my thoughts so they can deduct from my bank account accordingly.

    Hurm. First they screwed me on rocket cars, and now…

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