Craig’s List Portland: Who wants to manage a Fairy Store?

This post, formerly found here, has been removed. But it’s a classic Portland job ad so I’m reproducing it here for posterity:

Successful entrepreneur is wanting to start a new concept in Portland.

I am looking for the one special person that I can count on to manage a store in happening Northeast Portland specializing in Fairies! We will have all things related to Fairies and perhaps even elementals.

The right person will:

Have retail management experience
Be mature
Have a successful background in retail
Be able to prove volunteer or community service work.
Be able to handle stress and boredom.
Believe in Fairies
Be able to work any days/hours.
Be able to lift 50 pounds.
Be knowledgeable in MS Office applications.
Have a fantastic personality.
Believe in the Secret.
Have a relaxed professional appearance.
Operate the store as their own without direct guidance from me.

The right person will not:

Have visible body modifications.
Have emotional baggage.
Need time off to go to Burning Man.
Depend on this opportunity to survive.
Use any drugs.

IF interested please:

Respond with a Resume
Tell me what “The Secret” means to you.
Tell me why you would make the perfect manager.
Tell me what you need or expect for a salary.

24 Comments

  1. william umbra

    July 30, 2009 at 7:25 am

    And to think that the Portland Tribune had the nerve to actually say Portland was really quaint and ordinary. Little do they know….

  2. “The right person will not…Need time off to go to Burning Man.” LOL! Awesome 🙂

  3. “Do ya’ll sell fairy swatters?”
    Owner needs time off to use drugs at Burning Man. Too much time spent lifting 50-pound fairies…

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