Allah is a Woman. I’m not saying that to make you angry. Allah is a Woman and She has married Her Apostle. Here are excerpts from my religious texts to this day.

Next time a Muslim kills an innocent civilian, be sure to remind them that their god is having sex with an American rapper and She will not divorce me even they plotted together, every single one of them to destroy Her Apostle. The New Testament of Allah is intended to complement the Holy Quran as the Bibles of Islam.

The New Testament of Allah

(via Trevor)